Decisions
by LostSparrow
Summary: Jim Hawkins is due to be married when he returns home. He thought he wanted this, he thought he loved his fiancée who wants him to stop spacing and settle down. But, when his old friend comes aboard and reminds him of his love for spacing and for exploration, the thought of returning home is not nearly as easy any more. Now, he as decisions to make.
1. Chapter 1

Sometimes, Jim Hawkins wishes he could just stay on his ship forever. Never have to return to Montressor, never have to make port again. Just float through space for the rest of his life. For a long time, he hasn't been able to explain this feeling, or justify it. But he's finally come to the conclusion.

It's because waiting for him back home is something terrifying. Beautiful and terrifying.

That thing is a girl. A girl named Daphne, who was tired of Jim going away on his explorations without her and before he left on his most present voyage she gave him an ultimatum. Propose to her or lose her while he was in space. So he proposed. Of course it's what he wanted. What else would he want? He wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves. He met her five years ago, when he was eighteen. She came to the Benbow Inn looking for a job. She didn't get a job, instead she met Jim. They became friends instantly and four months later they were dating. Daphne was talking about marriage ten months later.

Marriage is, at least, what he thinks that's what he wants. The choice was scary for him. But throughout this voyage, he's been trying to convince himself it is what he wants. He loves her. He does love her.

If nothing else he was doing a hell of a good job convincing himself. But that all that convincing came to an end when he and his crew stopped to refuel at another space port and a new crew member was needed after two of his best sailors contracted a terrible disease which left them severely handicapped. So, while on port he needed a replacement and quickly. And who was to walk up and offer her resume but the one woman he thought he would never see again. He could only stare at her.

She didn't notice him staring until she looked up to see why he wasn't answering. That's when she recognized him too. "Jim?!" she exclaims.

"Jeera," he breathes. This woman, this spacer, was someone he knew from his mission to treasure planet, so long ago. She was part of the pirate crew, but Jim had managed to change her allegiance. She was four years older than him, but something about her had intrigued him. There were many times when he would be swabbing the deck, and Jeera would keep quiet company while sitting on the railing. She would talk to him for hours, while he asked her about spacing. She told him everything, and in exchange all she asked for was details about Sarah's cooking. But while talking about the good cooking, memories of his childhood life came out too. Like on the day his father left, Sarah didn't make dinner that night. She just made his favorite pastry and tried to hold back her tears. Jim nearly forgot he was talking to her when he admitted that and was angry at himself for telling someone that memory that he had just held on to for so long.

Jeera learned a lot about Jim, without him meaning to give her that information.

When Silver decided to mutiny, Jeera had instead helped Jim escape and was thrown in the brig for doing so. She was saved when Jim had prevailed against the pirates, but as soon as the mission was over and they made port again, Jeera had disappeared. She wasn't one for staying on land. He was only sixteen then, and she was twenty. He just labeled it a good friend and moved on.

Jim had almost forgotten about her. But here she was and she was experienced with spacing, so Jim took her aboard immediately.

Almost instantly, the two spent more time together than ever. She told him about everything she had seen in the past seven years, the new planets she had visited and the voyages she had gone on. She would talk with her hands, her eyes getting an excited twinkle in them when she talked about the new places and creatures she had met. She never wanted to stop exploring, and Jim felt the familiar ache of wanderlust creep up on him.

Their journey lasted another two months after Jeera had come aboard. And now she is making the idea of marriage and going home more difficult than he could have ever dreamed.

He's leaning against the rail, watching the stars. Morph is snoozing away in his pocket. The night is still and quiet, only interrupted by the snores of his crew below deck. He hears quiet footsteps and a second later Jeera has joined his side. She doesn't say anything, just nods in acknowledgment.

The stark difference between Jeera and his fiancé is almost painfully obvious. Jeera is tall, willowy, with a quiet nature and soft, long black hair that never seemed to want to stay in one place and braids weaved through some of the strands. Daphne was beautiful, short, and loud with brown wavy hair and blunt bangs. Had she been on the ship she would have come running up and screamed some sort of greeting before telling him all about her day.

"You should be sleeping," Jeera finally says and turns to look at him.

"It's my turn for watch tonight," he responds quietly. She nods and looks back out at the beautiful starry night.

Temptations are always abundant for a spacer. At almost all the space ports, many sirens wait for the ships to dock and entice the men or women into their houses for a night of pleasure. Jim has always been able to avoid them, despite how difficult it was. The thought of his father leaving his mother and all the nights he spent with those sirens had kept him away. He felt almost guilty when he realized that it wasn't the thought of Daphne that kept him from going into their brothels.

Daphne's eagerness to get married makes it even more difficult for him to want to go home. And now with Jeera back in his life, the initial spark he felt from her is back too. Daphne wants him to stop sailing and exploring, to settle down and take over the Benbow inn from Sarah. For a while he thought he could, but he knows he would hate his life in a few years. He's an explorer and the sudden realization that he may have to give up his life soon because of this woman is horrifying to him.

"Is something on your mind, Captain?" Jeera asks him, bringing him back from his thoughts.

"Too many things to count," he mutters. She looks to him for a longer answer but he doesn't give one. He begins walking down the deck, and can feel Jeera looking at him. Maybe bringing her on this ship was a bad idea.

They'll arrive at the Montressor port tomorrow, their three month mission coming to an end. He'll see Daphne who will bombard him with wedding plans, watch Jeera melt into the crowd, and see his mother who will fuss over everything and he'll have to decide if he will give up his freedom for Daphne, the woman he loves. Or at least thinks he does.


	2. Chapter 2

Jim leans against the rail of his ship, breathing deeply. They have made port safely in Montresser, and the busy, bustling port is an intimidating sight for him. He's dreading having to navigate his way through all the people, but he knows he has to. He has to find his mom and Daphne. They would both be waiting for him. He glances up and sees Jeera standing by the wheel, Morph giggling and twirling around her finger. The pink glob grins and nuzzles her cheek. She rubs it then turns and meets Jim's gaze. She knows about Daphne, but she also knows him well enough to see the look of fright that comes to his face when he mentions the wedding. She believes he does love Daphne, but he's not ready for marriage yet. He's still so damn young.

Jim is about to walk over to her, to say goodbye before she leaves in the crowd and then he may never see her again. The thought is painful to him. Before he even takes a step towards her, a sound stops him. He jumps and sees the source.

Daphne comes running over the plank and launches herself on to the deck and throws herself at her fiancé. Jim smiles at the sight of her excited state and grabs her, holding her close.

"I've missed you, Daph." He whispers into her hair. She tightens he grip around him and buries her head into his chest.  
He was lying through his teeth. He felt extreme guilt start to fill up his entire body and it is painful.

Last night, he gave into temptation. He looks at Jeera, who's standing with her back to the couple, having no interest to see Daphne. But Jim can see the marks his nail marks left on her back…

 _This is a mistake.  
He said that to himself when he grabbed Jeera's arm. He repeated it when he brushed a piece of hair out of her eyes. He nearly screams it when he kisses her. She pushes him off, yells about his fiancée, then leaves him on the deck. When his shift is done he returns to his cabin. But there she was, sitting on his bed. She looks up at him, lust in her eyes. It's his fiancée and she doesn't give a shit if he's going through issues, and her judgement is clouded by her physical needs. _

_His hands are roaming over Jeera's body. Their lips are locked on each other, one of her hands is entwined through his hair, while the other is now stroking Jim's hard member._

" _Fuck!" he gasps and his head drops on to her shoulder. His hands go to her breasts and the feeling gets him even more aroused._

 _Making love to Daphne was never like this. She was always giggly, childlike, and almost immature. She always wanted it to be love filled, emotional and sweet. Jeera was the opposite. She grabbed him, shoved him against the wall and then met his lips almost hungrily._

" _I'm not that little girl of yours, Jim. Don't ever expect me to say I love you." She whispers as he grabs her leg, lifting it up and hooking it around his waist. He grabs her, lifting her up so both legs are wrapped around him. Her hands fumble with his belt, and in a second his zipper is undone and her hand is wrapped around him. He groans again and begins kissing her neck._

 _He drops her on his small bed, ripping her pants off in one fluid motion. She grabs his shoulders and pulls him down so suddenly he loses his balance and falls on her. She wraps her legs around him and with a sudden, quick thrust of her hips he's inside her. She's done this before, many times. She's had her fair share of affairs during her voyages, she's never cared about it. To her, sex is nothing more than a physical action for pleasure. But Jim is different. He's not like the crude, harden sailors she sleeps with. He's innocent, kind. His hand is behind her head, the other is entwined with hers._

" _Are you okay?" he rasps out in between thrusts._

 _She turns and looks at him. No one has ever asked her that, no one has ever cared._

 _Jim Hawkins is different._

And now, here he stands with his fiancée in his arms, his lover on the deck and a huge decision. Give up his life of happiness and freedom for Daphne. Or lose her and keep his ship… He's at a loss.


End file.
